The Plank in My Eye
In August of this year I did a twenty-one day fast. I was praying for healing and reconciliation for my family; however, this verse kept ringing in my spirit, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3). I was crying out to God to fix some things in my family members but then I found myself asking God to reveal to me my role in all the mess. I humbly came before Him, seeking to fix the yuckiness in my own heart, asking Him to reveal to me the planks in my own eye instead of focusing on the specks in the eyes of others.
Well folks, when we ask, the Lord sure answers and little did I know that the next two months would bring some spiritual boxing matches with the Lord. (Insert crying emoji). Throughout this time, I kept hearing the words “a harvest of truth”. Boy was the harvest ripe and for the next couple of months He revealed some truths in me that I didn’t really want to see.
From selfishness to pride to anger to being a control freak, the Lord began to peel back the layers; however, one area that I have been struggling recently with is jealousy. As believers we know that love is patient, kind and is not jealous (1 Corinthians 13:4) but I keep struggling with this emotion way too much! To be completely honest with you I am jealous of my husband. You see our daughter clings to him like a bee to honey. Instead of asking me to do things with her, she usually asks him to color or play with her. Sometimes, when I go to give her a hug in the mornings, she will pull away from me or refuse to leave her daddy’s side. When I get her from her naps the first thing she says is, “I want Daddy.” I wish I didn’t feel so rejected when these moments occur. I wish I could get past those emotions because I absolutely love that they have a special bond. I know how important the love of her father will nurture healthy relationships further down the road, but it still stings a little bit when she prefers to be in his arms over my own. What I can’t allow is for that sting to develop into something greater and drive a wedge into my spirit. I don’t like that I feel it and I especially don’t like that I feel it towards my husband.
In James3:13-18 it says, “If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.” As I read through these verses I am first reminded that I continuously ask the Lord for wisdom and here He asks me to be wise by not covering up the truth but instead to find His purity, peace and gentleness and yield it to others. In my current circumstance I must make a choice to see the purity and sincerity in my child’s love, to yield to that and not to the lies of the enemy. I need to focus on the fact that my daughter loves me, not just because she tells me every day and shows me with her hugs, but because I am simply her mother. Satan will try and destroy those truths, he has a way of infiltrating families to cause division and strife, he desperately tries to plant seeds so that the roots grow into dark, ugly caverns of resentment and bitterness. Proverbs 14:30 states, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” In some versions it says that jealousy becomes like a cancer. That, my friend, is some ugliness that I do not need in my life and you know what Satan, “I ain’t gonna do it!” I won’t allow him to use our precious child to create jealousy in my family and the only way I know how to combat him is by revealing the truth. I am choosing to bring the plank out of the dark and into the light.
So here I am, sharing my secret with the world. I am strong enough to admit it so that the enemy will not have room to grow those feelings in the darkness. I want to be a vessel used by God to share the fruits of the Spirit which are “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” (Galatians 5:22-23). As we choose to walk in the Spirit we deny the enemy the opportunity to fester feelings that can lead to spiritual decay.
All that being said, I am challenging you to ask the Lord to show you the planks that are in your eyes. Ask Him to reveal to you the ugliness lurking in your heart that can potentially lead to death and rotting bones. It may be jealousy, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, deceit, or lust. What do you need to reveal in truth to the Lord so that he can bring healing and freedom? Take some quiet time and ask him to expose those things and bring them to the light. The process may not be easy, and it may not go away overnight, but it will happen if you are a willing vessel. He desperately wants to heal you. You are His beautiful child and He longs to love you. He will answer your request, guide you through it and bring you a new-found freedom. “Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin.” (Acts 13:38-39).